Mama said, you can't hurry love (and so did Phil Collins)

Seems like Mama and Phil were right on the money...
Mama did tell me before she skedaddled outta my life was that you ain't gonna find "the one" at a night club. So being me, I had to put a twist on it -and went to my first-ever singles mixer at a resturant/lounge in the heart of the gay village last night with some of my single ladies (and a married couple--no they're not swingers). The goal of tonight was to raise the fun factor in my life after this insane week!

As we left the Wellsley Subway station, we wondered if there would be more 26 year old bunnies at this mixer, making us look cougarish....but upon entering the tiny but packed upper party room --we soon realised that that was the least of our problems. The octoganarian "resting" on the lounger by the ticket table at the door gave us a pretty good view of the rest of the evening - highly successful older men who didn't quite put the same effort into finding a mate or even a date. They had become lazy...I mean they wore blazers and held nice drinks, but they looked uncomfortable in their own skin....like awkward little baby lizards trying to learn how to walk and socialize in the pack--and since it was hard to do...they gave up (and it showed in their eyes).

So we thought about leaving, but the ticket lady said - that'll be 20 canadian dollars please, and what status are you looking for? Depending on your answer, you got a lei (that hawian flowery necklace - but this one was plastic from the dollar store--good times!) So here was the breakdown:
yellow = relationship
blue = dating
red = fling
Wouldn't you know it - they were all out of blue - so I was brave and took the last red one!!

We eyed the room - and came to realise we were probably the youngest (amoung the males and females in the room). This was going to be interesting. TO THE BARCAVE! (I mean batcave...actually no....) some social lubricant was in order to help me grin and bear/bare it.

So the mixer/matcher was where all the ladies got a name of a female celebrity and their relationship status that you had to search for the partner that fit. Who the heck is married to Tricia Yearwood and in a relationship with Oprah!??? yeah those were my two card...
If you found your match, you went up to the ticket lady to get a number for the draw. After the prizes (spa gift certificates and a cruise!!--which I didn't win... damn!) were given out at around 11pm - the room cleared out! I'm not sure if this was because:
a)people actually found what they came looking for?
or
b)they got the feck outta there - considering it a lesson learned.

But we were brave little soldiers - L and T found some interesting people that they were chatting up. And I too was talking to some sort of professor/life coach man. It got me thinking - if he coached other people into finding the happiness they want - what the feck was he doing here like the rest of us lost souls?

That should of been my first clue. But we kept on talking, about of all things Darwin, and theories of evolution (while slightly inebriated after my second martini this was even more interesting). Things were going along swimmingly, until...he started asking about personal stuff - which made me think this was a 47 year old professional with 2 teenage kids might had come into this event with preconcieved notions of the woman he was going to meet - cause things went quiet when he got he answers to his questions about starting families and past relationships---those are questions better suited for 3rd dates - their minefields no matter how you slice them.
So that was it--he shutdown and sat down---not before trying to set me up with his even older friend! WTF!

But the night was not a total loss....I didn't let this one weirdo get me down...I went downstairs to avoid the unisex bathroom on our floor - and wouldn't you know it - ended up having an amazing chat with this hot asian woman--she was so chic it hurt! It was all about the short hair - I asked her who cuts her hair - and she was actually at the party downstairs with her gay HAIR DRESSER!!! She was going to get his card - while I went to release the 3 drinks I had had. A few seconds into my business I heard voice "is the short haired girl in here?" why yes I am!
we ended up having a great talk - she asked me if I was a lesbian...after tonight honey - I might just be...LOL....she laughed....these singles parties are always frought with perils. She finally gave me the number and I returned to my "party" upstairs where there was good dancing to be had - the music was great...and my mates were having fun....but it made me miss London... cause no one parties quite like the brits!

As the night wore on, we actually met some younger guys (they seemed gay but what the heck) that wanted us to come to a swingers club on Queen with them in the near future---although they were both single! the catch was to get in you had to have a partner (probably to be able to do a wife-swap) WTF!! They just wanted to see what went on inside these hedonistic Edens....the secret mating lives of bees..I mean bored married people....

I have to say, I went in this thing with no expectations, but to have fun - and I came out with so much more:
1)good exercise from the dancing in stilletos
2)a number for a new hairdresser (his name is Angel---and he's so hot)
3)learned a lesson about dating in the urban jungle....mixer parties just don't work!

well mates...this is the domestic-goddess-in-training signing off...
until next time...